Dear O:
First I’d like to give you a little background information on my situation. My name is Camille and I have a best friend named Kyla and she and I are closer than two peas in a pod. We’re basically inseparable and have been that way since we met in kindergarten (We’re 20-years-old now and Juniors at an HBCU). I consider her to be my sister from another mother. Her family is like my family and I love her mother and father like they’re my own parents. Here’s my dilemma. About a month ago I took at trip with my brother to a neighboring town (It’s like 40 minutes away) to visit the mall. While there I saw Kyla’s dad booed up with this woman that wasn’t his wife. They were showing an immense amount of PDA (Public Display of Affection). I’ve never seen Kyla’s dad so happy. My brother, who thought the entire thing was hilarious, wanted to film the incident and put it on social media but I stopped him because I knew how it would hurt Kyla. O, I’ve been carrying this secret around for 30 days now and it hurts. I mean I always pictured Kyla’s dad as a stand-up guy who loved his family and would never do anything to harm them but boy was I wrong. I don’t know what to do in this situation. Should I tell Kyla her dad’s a cheater and destroy her respect for him or should I just keep my mouth closed and let things play out? I think the reason I haven’t said anything is because I’m hoping for the latter and that everything that I witnessed was just a huge misunderstanding. Help me O. What should I do?
Signed
Should I or Shouldn’t I
Dear Should I or Shouldn’t I:
When you’re in situations like this, it can be hard but you have to understand how significant the role you play in all of this can be. No matter the relationship, I think you should just be quiet and let things play out until you have actual facts that prove what you’re trying to convey. Perhaps you’re wrong and the woman is a co-worker? Perhaps you haven’t been with her family every second of every day so you wouldn’t know if he has been happier before or not. Perhaps you think you have it all figured out and in the end you just end up ruining a marriage and a family.
Though your intentions are pure, saying something right now might not be the decision. However, if this is something that weighs heavy on your heart just observe the matter more only when it’s in front of you, don’t go looking for anything. And then and only then, you might find the answers and clarity you are looking for.
Always Supporting,
O
