I hope that the problem that I have falls within the parameters of your wisdom because it’s driving a wedge between me and my family. Growing up, my father and mother were members of Greek organizations (I won’t name them due to privacy issues) and they predestined me to be in one as well. They took me to Greek shows, picnics, and in some cases, meetings. I was being groomed to be the heir apparent. The organization that they chose for me, my father is a member of and my mother’s organization are the ‘sisters’ to them. Currently, I am a Sophomore in college and I have been doing my research on other fraternities and I have found one that I love way more than my father’s. The young men carry an image about themselves which is studious, well-mannered, well-respected, intelligent and overall the future of our generation. I attended their informational and spoke with some of the organization’s members and came out very impressed. I made my mind up right then and there that that’s an organization that I want to be a part of. I immediately told my parents, but what I thought would be adulation on their part for making an adult decision on my own, turned out to be extremely disappointing. Both of them said that they loathed the organization that I wanted to be a part of and that no self respecting son of theirs would ever be a member of it. They also said that if I wanted to continue with the ‘nonsense’ of joining this organization that they would not pay for it. O, I was so hurt that I went in my room and cried. I mean this is something that I want to do and they’re taking my dream away from me. I can’t afford to pay for this on my own because they refuse to support me. O, do I go along with my parent’s plan and join the fraternity that they want me to or stick to my guns, get a job (they’ll hate that) so that I can pay for it myself and join the fraternity that I want to.
Wanna Be A Greek
Dear Wanna Be Greek:
With all things in life, you have to do what makes you happy no matter whom you disappoint. Don’t permanently put yourself in a space you don’t want to be in because you’re afraid that your parents will temporarily be mad at you. In reality, your parents won’t stay mad at you forever.
To add to that, Greek organizations are a big deal when it comes to commitment. With that being said, choose an organization because you like what it stands for, how it aids the community and/or how it makes you an overall better person, not because of the family ties. Never be afraid to break the family tradition for the desires of your heart. Never be afraid to step up and stand out, deviating from the norm.
On the other hand, don’t settle for something because someone doesn’t want to support you financially. Stay strong-willed and determined and God will work everything out for you perfectly, only if it’s meant for you to be a part of that organization. In fact God will even work it out to the point where you probably won’t even have to work, just trust his timing and his plan. However, you also have to trust yourself too. Trust your research, trust your ability to make good decisions and trust what you truly feel. I hope that this helps.