Ask O: The Advice Column (April 30, 2021)


Dear O:

I have a close friend who is a great person. Her name is Troy. Troy is funny, fun to be around, creative and true to everyone she is around. There is one thing about Troy that almost ruins everything about her, and it’s the negativity that she carries around within her everywhere she goes. She always points out the one negative thing out of all the positives and always has negative input. Because she is such a great friend in some areas, I really don’t know how to deal with this situation. What should I do?


A Tired Friend

Dear A Tired Friend:

Because Troy is a friend that you sound like you want to keep around, I suggest handling her “with a long handle spoon.” Learn to distinguish which settings and which moments you can’t involve Troy in. Don’t involve Troy in big moments or positive moments that you don’t want any negativity in. Don’t involve her in big celebrations or momentous occasions, because these are the times where you are supposed to radiate positive vibes. Most importantly, learn how to not let her and her negative thoughts have so much control over you. Her thoughts and comments are only as negative as you allow them to be. Learn how to top every last one of Troy’s negative comments with positive ones. Control your space.