How Do I Go On?

I’m tired of talking because I really want to fight.
Talking and not saying anything causes people to not know what to say.
I’m trying to survive.
How? How do I thrive? 
Does it begin in happiness with me because I work and stay busy to keep my thoughts from catching up to me?
Scenarios that I didn’t even know about had me with anxiety until I saw a face in my head and before I knew it I could hardly breathe.
My heart was racing and I was balled up in a corner crying.
And you ask what did you do to me? 
You took away my peace and tranquility.
I can’t even see me.  I always feel disgusting.
I’m great when things are bad and want to scream when things are fantastic. 
Why did you have to touch me? Why did you have to speak to me?
Why didn’t you just leave me be?
I want to give up but I won’t let this defeat me.
I have to succeed.
My family just stopped worrying about me.
I gotta get out of here.
Everything here is sucking the life away from me.