I drink too much.

I lie to protect my feelings.

I’ve felt once maybe three or four times but never loved.

I’ve seen what it can do.

The one I have feelings for, I let them walk away scared of getting too close.

Scared of hearing no so I keep my mouth closed.

I smile when I wanna cry.

I hate that my past haunts me.

I sleep the day away because the night won’t leave me alone.

My dad is gone and I can never tell him I’m sorry.

My uncle has been gone for a while and it still hurts.

It’s hard for me to make friends.

The ones I let in, they hurt me in the process.

I don’t talk to my family like I should.

I stay in my room when I’m at home.

I wanna love.

Smile genuinely.

Breath easier.

Sleep peacefully.

Think clearly.

But I can’t or won’t.

I don’t know the difference.

 —-Zion McThomas