O Knows: The Advice Column (September 30, 2020)


Dear O:

I’m a Junior at a small college in the South Alabama. I won’t waste your time and get right to it. My roommate and I were the closet of friends and had been since our Freshman year of college. We did everything together. We have the same major, attended social events together, and even went to the same church. I mean she was like a sister to me. About six months ago Claudia (not her real name) met Grant (not his real name) and they, as of late, have been inseparable. She confided in me that she was falling in love with him and could possibly see herself marrying him. With Grant in the picture now I feel as though I’ve lost my best friend. She barely has time for me anymore and when we do see each other it’s always quick. I want my friend to be happy but what about me? Guys come a dime a dozen and he’ll probably just end up breaking her heart. My problem is how Claudia just dismissed me so easily without a second thought for some random guy. Could it be that our friendship wasn’t as solid as I thought it was. What should I do O? Should I speak to Claudia about my thoughts on her new found relationship or should I just be quiet and hope that she sees the error in her ways on how she chose a quickie relationship over a solid friendship?

A True Friend

Dear A True Friend:

While this situation is challenging, making the right move is a necessity. You have to first understand that as a true friend whatever outlet her happiness is and whether you like it or not, you have to accept that because after all she is happy and that’s your main goal for her, right? Even if you’re right about the guy breaking her heart, that is a lesson for her to learn and not a decision for you to make. What if you are wrong? Once you get older and you mature, you will come to the realization that friends aren’t together all of the time or talk every day. As we get older, we have our own lives. It’s not that our friends aren’t important anymore but we are busy building our own empires. We are busy with our marriages and our kids and soon one day you will be to. However, I am never an advocate for anyone to stay quiet. I challenge you to express your feelings because I highly believe that Claudia doesn’t even notice that she is neglecting you in any way. Nevertheless, before you speak, make sure that your motive is selfless and you are keeping the best interest of your friend first.

Always love,