Dear Parys:
I am a recent graduate (2020) of an Historically Black College and University (HBCU) in Mississippi. While there I loved every minute of it. I made great friends (at least I thought) and I learned my craft. I have been working at a Fortune 500 company for the past two years and the position that I’m in is quite rewarding. About 6 months ago my ‘friend’ from college began working at the company where I’m employed. We would go out for lunch, attend meetings together, and converse frequently. Recently there was a job opening within the company that would have made me an assistant manager making a six-figure salary. I confided in my ‘friend’ how much I wanted this job and would be willing to work overtime to get it. Unbeknownst to me, my ‘friend’ applied for the same position and began a smear campaign around the office besmirching my name. Sufficed to say, I didn’t get the position but my ‘friend’ did. Now she’s my boss and it is tearing me apart every day that I see her knowing how she betrayed me. The sad part about it is she still wants to hang out and act as though we’re friends. Parys, what should I do here? I mean, should I play the role and act as though everything is fine or should I risk being fired (I could always get another job) and confront her about her unscrupulous behavior?
Friends: How Many of Us Have Them?
Dear Friends: How Many of Us Have Them?
First of all, I want to say I’m proud of you for even getting into a position where you were considered for a six-figure job. That shows a lot about your work ethic and talents. And with this, you can get numerous opportunities with your skills and hard work. I completely understand your position of having someone you thought was a friend turn around and not only compete against you for a position but stopping your chances of acquiring it.
If this is weighing on you this heavily then you need to address it head on because this may be the only way to move forward without carrying resentment towards this person every day. Being confrontational doesn’t always have to be aggressive. I think you should ask to speak with them privately. Choose a time when tensions aren’t high between the two of you and make it known how you feel. Having this conversation won’t undo what happened, but hopefully this person will understand the hurt and damage that they have caused you. Afterwards, you should feel much better. Now, I wouldn’t be me without telling you the other side of this situation. Depending on how this person takes you coming clean to them they could retaliate and try to make your job impossible so just be prepared for any ramifications that may come. Hopefully it won’t’ come to that. I hope this helps.
Parys
