Dear Parys:
I’m a Junior here at Alcorn. I won’t waste your time and get right to it. My roommate and I were the closet of friends and had been since our Freshman year of college. We did everything together. We have the same major, attended social events together, and even went to the same church. I mean she was like a sister to me. About six months ago Kyra (not her real name) met Greg (not his real name) and they, as of late, have been inseparable. She confided in me that she was falling in love with him and could possibly see herself marrying him. With Greg in the picture now I feel as though I’ve lost my best friend. She barely has time for me anymore and when we do see each other it’s always quick. I want my friend to be happy but what about me? Guys come a dime a dozen, and he’ll probably just end up breaking her heart. My problem is how Kyra just dismissed me so easily without a second thought for some guy. Could it be that our friendship wasn’t as solid as I thought it was? What should I do Parys? Should I speak to Kyra about my thoughts on her newfound relationship or should I just be quiet and hope that she sees the error in her ways on how she chose a quickie relationship over a solid friendship?
A True Friend
Dear A True Friend:
I understand how you’re feeling completely. I’ve also had a similar experience where one of my closet friends got a significant other and disregarded me altogether. At our age it can be somewhat difficult to communicate, but in my past situation, communication was my best and most effective way to get through to my friend. In my situation, fortunately my friend understood and attempted to fix the issue once I explained to her how I was feeling.
However, it has become a normal thing for girls to end a friendship over a guy, or simply just not communicate effectively. We should always try to prevent that because friendships can last forever, and now-a-days relationships tend to end quickly. I definitely think you should have a sit-down conversation with her to express how you feel. You don’t want to develop built up anger towards her and say or do something you may regret in the future. You should explain to your friend thoroughly about having a balance between you and the new significant other but also make it clear that you’re happy for her new relationship. You just want more time with your friend and want to feel validated. Make that known. You shouldn’t wait until you think it’s too late for the friendship. Your friend doesn’t want to lose you just as much as you don’t want to lose her.
Parys