Dear Parys:
My name is Natasha and I’m 20-years-old. I’m not a student but I stay in the surrounding area of Alcorn. I read your column and like the advice that you give out. I’m hoping that you can help me. Here’s my situation. I have a boyfriend named Travion and he’s really a nice guy but there are some extenuating circumstances that gives me pause about our relationship going forward. I come from a very religious background (AME) and I was literally raised in the church. My grandfather is a pastor of a very prestigious church in the area, and my father and mother are on the board of the church that I currently attend. I’m a firm believer in Jesus Christ but here’s where my problem comes in. Travion is basically atheist and doesn’t believe in God, the Holy Bible or any religion. He tells me all the time, “How can you believe in something that you’ve never seen?” “The stories in that book are nothing more than comic book propaganda.” He says that when we have children, he’s going to teach them his way of thinking and to make a mockery of what I believe in. As I said earlier, he’s a great guy and I truly love him for all of the things that he does for me, but I don’t think I can continue this relationship when he’s constantly belittling what I believe in. I spoke with a few of my friends about the situation and they tell me I’m being ‘extra’ and to calm down. They tell me that I have a good man and that’s hard to find around these parts and that I should just grin and bear it. I’m caught between a rock and a hard place. Like I see their point, but I also see mine as well. What should I do Parys? Should I leave him because of my strong faith or stay with him with the hopes that one day he’ll see things my way?
Jesus Love Me This I Know
Dear Jesus Loves Me This I Know:
I’m glad you feel like you’ve found a good guy and that he treats you well. That matters. But even so, someone constantly belittling your faith isn’t okay. Disagreeing is one thing, but mocking what you believe crosses a line.
I think the first step is to have a real conversation. You need to explain how important your faith is to you and how his comments affect you. If you’re thinking about a future together, especially kids, you should be clear that you want them exposed to faith while still having the freedom to choose for themselves.
It’s not wrong for him to have different beliefs, but it is wrong if he won’t respect yours or tries to understand them. Relationships take maturity and compromise. If he isn’t willing to do that, it could cause bigger problems later on.
At the end of the day, love needs respect. If that respect isn’t there, walking away may be the best choice.