Dear Parys:
Let me get right to my situation. My name is Eric (Not my real name) and I work at a big box store in a small town in Mississippi. I’ve been there for 4 years and I’m 22-years-old. Recently I’ve become smitten with my manager who I’ll call Sheila (Not her real name). She is a single mother of three, independent, strong willed, confident and vivacious which are all of the things that I find exceptionally attractive in a woman. But here’s the thing, she’s 44-years-old. I know that’s a 22 year age difference but I find myself thinking about her all of the time. We sometimes have lunch together and I could listen to her all day. I’m certain that she has no idea that I’m secretly in love with her and just views our friendship as simply platonic. My question is how do I tell her that I have romantic feelings for her? I realize that she has children and I’m willing to accept the role of caring for them. Age to me is irrelevant when you’re in love with someone. Help me, Parys! Should I risk it all and confess to Sheila how I feel or just leave it alone?
Age Ain’t Nothing But A Number
Dear Age Ain’t Nothing But A Number:
Thanks for trusting me with something so personal. It’s clear your feelings for Sheila goes beyond attraction. You genuinely admire her and that’s powerful. With that being said, the situation is complicated, especially with her being your manager and the age difference.
My advice, first of all, is to not rush to confess everything. Start by showing your interest through small, respectful gestures, compliments, being there for her and genuine conversation. If she starts responding with more personal openness or interest, then that’s your sign to carefully express how you feel.
Also, remember that women, especially mature one’s, respect consistency. Even if she doesn’t feel the same way at first, showing up with steady, sincere energy can make a difference. But always respect her space, especially at work. If you ever do share your feelings, do it privately and without pressure.
Lastly, ask yourself if you’re ready for what comes with dating someone at a very different stage in life especially a mom of three. If you are, and your heart is in the right place, then proceed with maturity and care. No matter what happens, handle it with respect. That’s how you win her heart and her respect.