Squashing Society’s Imprecise Views on Beauty


You want to know what expressions I’m sick and tired of hearing? “That girl is pretty for a black girl,” or “that girl is cute for a dark-skinned girl,” or how about, “she’s cute for a white girl,” or “she’s pretty for a Chinese girl.” And let’s not forget the very prominent and my personal least favorite of all, “she is pretty for a big girl.” Pause. Say what? Why must society place the magnitude of a woman’s beauty into a certain category? I’ll tell you why. Over the years, the media has continually portrayed certain images of what beauty should look like. However, what the media fails to realize is most women simply don’t look like that. It needs to be made known that all women are beautifully and wonderfully made, regardless of their shape, height, size, race, or skin color.

Firstly, I would like to say that I think it is completely rude and insulting to tell a woman that she is beautiful, then finish with “for a…” What was wrong with just telling her that she was beautiful and leaving it at that? I believe that when people say things like this, they are basically saying that both the woman and other women like her are not supposed to be considered beautiful. This would more than likely explain why the person felt that they needed to include “for a…” in their remark.

Personally, I’ve been in situations where people foolishly thought that they were giving me a compliment but honestly I couldn’t have felt more offended. I have been told countless times, “Renita, you are so pretty for a big girl.” Let’s press pause again for a quick second. Quite frankly, when people say things like this to me, I immediately get defensive and ask them what is it that they mean (I really want to slap them but I soon think better of it). Are they implying that big girls can’t be pretty? Because to me that’s exactly what it sounds like. You should never make a woman feel like she isn’t good enough to be considered a beautiful woman within today’s society. I believe that I speak for and represent all women everywhere when I say that we do not enjoy nor take pleasure in being told that we are beautiful only because we are not expected to be. Beauty comes in all forms and there is no true definition of it, regardless of what the media may say.

Forget society and their stupid standards. Forget the haters and the naysayers. You don’t need to pursue an image that is pretty much impossible to achieve. So what if you’re not built like a supermodel? Ladies, know that you are all beautiful in your own unique way and you should never let anyone tell you anything differently. You are all queens. Stay beautiful.