We as a society, far too often, find ourselves looking to others for validation, from our appearances to whether or not we’re doing well in life. It is not the outside world’s responsibility to build us up or make us feel worthy. That is our duty and should be taken with care. Confidence must start from within. Nobody can believe we are beautiful until we feel it ourselves. Here are five steps to improving confidence, and the route to being your own biggest fan.
STEP ONE: POST POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS FOR YOURSELF
This is one of the most important steps to positive self talk. There may be days that we forget to speak to ourselves kindly. Thus, this is a great step towards always having friendly reminders to yourself as to why you’re amazing. Invest in some sticky notes and pens, preferably the ones in fun colors that you like. Sit and write down on each sticky note what you love about yourself or even what you would want to hear from others. Then with those sticky notes post them in various places in your space, whether it be on the walls and mirror in your room, on the dashboard of your car, or even in your binder and notebooks at school. Wherever you know you’ll look without even thinking about it, surprise yourself with a positive message from yourself that will make you smile.
STEP TWO: ACKNOWLEDGE THE LITTLE SUCCESSESS
We’re often our own biggest critic rather than our own biggest fan. While this may be a helpful form of motivation for some people it is still very important to acknowledge for yourself when you’re doing well, even if it’s something little. This allows for a sense of momentum in one’s self when you cheer on each small achievement. Made it on time to class today when you’re usually late? Applaud yourself just for a moment. Got a better grade than you thought you would on a test or assignment? Be proud of yourself and the things you accomplishment no matter how big or small and continue to strive for more.
STEP THREE: BLOCK AND RID YORSELF OF NEGATIVE EXTERNAL FORCES AND ENERGY
Some of our most destructive thoughts of ourselves can come from auras and ill will of the people around us. Be mindful of the energy you let around you and the effects this has on your mental space. Misery loves company so do not allow other’s plight to be your own. Take heed of the people who have little to say when you’re well but a comment to make when you’re down as well as the negative “jokes” friends tend to make. While jokes are all fine and well there needs to be a balance. Notice the toxicity around you whether it be from friends, peers, and even family members. It is okay and necessary to distance yourself from energy that disrupts your own.
STEP FOUR: FIND A HAPPY PLACE/ESCAPE PLACE
Find somewhere to breath and think. A place to be completely at peace with yourself. A big part of loving yourself and positive self talk is to be able to simply enjoy your own company. Do you like yourself? Find a place free of distractions and external energies and get to know you.
STEP FIVE: BE SELFISH WITH YOUR TIME AND SET ASIDE SELF HELP DAYS
These days people want to be involved in everything and take on any and every opportunity and request. Thus, often leaving them spread thin among other people with no time for themselves. Establish a day once a week or once every two weeks that is solely dedicated to you and doing things that you enjoy. Make time for yourself. You can only be of so much help to the people around you when you’re not at your best. Catering to yourself and mental well being is a vital part of maintaining a vibrant energy. This also may include you putting your phone on “do not disturb” to ensure you’re focusing on your peace. Allow yourself that indulgence and bask in it.
A number 1 fan is someone who loves their star player to no end. They praise them at their highs and support them at their lows. They provide them copious compliments and affirmations with each thing they do. This is who we each should be for ourselves. Give ourselves positive affirmations, acknowledge each of our accomplishments, rid ourselves of negativity, enjoy our happy places, and find time to love who we are.