I love your column Sis and hope you can help me out. I’m a Junior here at Alcorn and I have a boyfriend who is also a Junior at Alcorn named Montavious (I changed the name to protect his identity) who I ‘think’ I love but I’ve been questioning that lately. Now I know you’re probably scratching your head saying, “think”, well the reason I say that is the reason that I’m writing this letter. Montavious is a great guy, don’t get me wrong, but this guy doesn’t do anything but play video games 24/7. I mean he skips meals, sleep, time with me, and class to play this thing. To say he has a girlfriend is an oxymoron because we rarely spend any time together. I asked him, in a recent rare conversation, what he gets out of playing the game so much and he just replied, “It relaxes me.” When I met him he wasn’t like this but with each waning moment of us being apart I’m slowly but surely falling out of love with him. I don’t want to lose him but it’s like he’s cheating on me with the video game and I’m losing. HELP ME YANA! Should I fight for this relationship or leave him to his true love, the video game?
Dear Computer Love:
First and foremost, being in a relationship with Montavious, the two of you should be able to communicate with one another. If you have doubts about the relationship you need to let him know. If you don’t talk to him about the problem that you are having, then you are not giving him a chance to make a change. Montavious might not see an issue with playing the game if you never talk to him about it. Talking to him, you might find out he may be going through something and playing the game is a way for him to ignore his problems.
Secondly, when you finally have the talk with him let him know that you have been noticing a change in him recently. Explain to him how you feel about the game and how you are not receiving enough attention. He should understand and make a change to fix the relationship.
Lastly, you can’t love someone if you don’t love yourself. You need to put yourself first in a relationship. If you are not happy then you need to let the relationship go. It’s not good to hold on to someone who you feel is not giving you the treatment that you deserve. If he is not doing what he needs to do in order to fix the relationship then let it go. There is someone else out there who will treat you better.