It’s like I’m not spiritually strong.
My insides are running all over the place because I can do wrong.
I’m being good but I want to be bad.
But for what though? It’s not fulfilling.
I was entertained yet still sad, and lonely, and bored, and really unamused.
To do the same thing repeatedly and expect a different result is insanity.
So why do I have to try so hard to bring out the disciple in me?
Why am I inclined to not do what’s best for me?
It’s all just thoughts because I haven’t done anything. I just want to.
I fantasize about it and that’s still strange.
I’m molding my mind and holding my tongue even though I want to be engaged.