Finding Myself

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It’s like I’m not spiritually strong.

My insides are running all over the place because I can do wrong.

I’m being good but I want to be bad.

But for what though? It’s not fulfilling.

I was entertained yet still sad, and lonely, and bored, and really unamused.

To do the same thing repeatedly and expect a different result is insanity.

So why do I have to try so hard to bring out the disciple in me?

Why am I inclined to not do what’s best for me?

It’s all just thoughts because I haven’t done anything. I just want to.

I fantasize about it and that’s still strange.

I’m molding my mind and holding my tongue even though I want to be engaged.

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