Dear Parys:
Excuse my abruptness but I’ll get right to the point. I’m a Sophomore here at Alcorn and I need your advice. I’m in a class with a young man named Andre (Not his real name) who’ve I’ve become quite smitten with. He’s about 6’4”, 225 pounds, and built like he was chiseled from granite. All of the young ladies in class swoon over him and I can’t really say that I blame them. I mean I’d like to approach him and ask him out but therein lies the problem Parys. I don’t find myself particularly attractive, especially to someone of his caliber. I mean all I ever see him around are cheerleaders, female athletes and the popular young ladies on campus. I suffer from extremely low self-esteem because of my size. I’m 5’2” 212 pounds and I love to eat. I’m not athletic and probably never will be. I’d love to talk to Andre but I’m deathly afraid of being rejected. Do you have any advice as to how I can approach him, strike up a conversation and potentially ask him out on a date? In my mind, I’ve asked him out a thousand times but in reality, all I do is stare at him in class. Help me, Parys! Should I risk it all and ask him out or should I just let him live rent free in my head where I can’t get my feelings hurt?
Opposites Attract
Dear Opposites Attract:
Thank you for coming to me about this. I know it’s not easy to be vulnerable, and this shows a true sign of courage. I understand that you see Andre with cheerleaders, and popular girls around campus which doesn’t necessarily mean those girls are his girlfriends but maybe they’re just his friends. He may appreciate a young lady from her personality and kindness not just her appearances.
I definitely think you should stop overanalyzing this situation. You should try to become friends with him first. Start with small talk and build to something meaningful. Begin by saying something causal in class, such as asking about an assignment or something that you may be having a problem with. Becoming friends with him will give you insight on how he thinks when it comes to females.
Now, let’s discuss another issue which are your insecurities. First off, always believe in yourself and know that you are beautiful inside and out. I understand that you aren’t athletic and probably may never want to be but for your health’s sake you may want to consider getting on a diet and challenging yourself to become your best self. If you don’t have confidence in yourself, no one else will.
So be brave and ask that man out but keep in mind that rejection is a part of life and it’s happens to the best of us. If he rejects you, so what, there are plenty of other males on this campus that will love you for you. And who knows Andre may want to ask you out and just hadn’t figured out how to do it yet. I hope this helps.
Love
Parys
