HomeOP-EDShould Couples Live Together Before Marriage?

Should Couples Live Together Before Marriage?

These days a lot of aspects of life are moving much faster. Children grow up quicker, girls become women too soon, and couples advance rapidly. People will meet today, get engaged in two months, and get married before they have even been together for a year. They say when
you know, you know but sometimes your usually solid judgment may be incorrect. It is different if the couple has a past and then gets married because that way they will know more about that person. Nonetheless, to take someone you just met and say “I do” hopefully for the rest of your life is deranged. This is why living with your future spouse before you finalize your
relationship is essential.

According to www.brides.com, “Cohabitation is a great way to test-run a relationship before fully committing to marriage (if that’s your end goal). It creates an environment where couples can get to know each other while learning how they function as a unit that shares both a
living space and a life together.” There is a popular quote that says, “You do not truly know a person until you live with them.” At first, I didn’t believe this saying until I took the time to contemplate the reason behind it. When you move in with a person you learn all their secret habits, if they are hygienic, if they are terrible neighbors, and if they know how to clean or cook. If you live with each other for a longer period, then there is a possibility you can learn even more. You can hide who you truly are for a while but eventually, it becomes difficult to keep up a fake persona. If you like your home to be neat and think you are meeting someone similar, finding out they are a slob might change your perspective on them.

In earlier years, moving in before you were married was considered illicit. Typically, those who are more religious feel this way because of the activities it may provoke. That’s why after legally “becoming one” you would move in with your new spouse. However, today’s world is
different. The norms associated with marriage are not carried out as often as they used to be. For instance, the idea of a man and a woman, a church chapel or venue, with friends and family isn’t that popular. Some do not have a typical wedding, they marry the same sex, get married in a courthouse, or cohabitate forever without ever getting married.

According to www.verywellmind.com, “The downside of living together before marriage relates to the tendency for some couples to make less of a commitment to each other or feel less content with their arrangement.” Although I believe cohabitation before marriage is a good thing, this point is valid. Living with someone before you marry them opens doors that usually wouldn’t be open until marriage. For example, committing financially to someone else, losing your chance of escape, and increasing trust. To live with someone means you commit to both paying the rent or mortgage on a house which could keep you in a relationship longer even if you decide you want to be rid of it. When you are irritated in a relationship, you have a chance to go to your own house to get a breather but after moving in, your hideaway is in the same vicinity as your partner. Trusting your partner also has to increase because it requires you to be vulnerable and let them in on things about you that you’ve kept secret. You can look at these things negatively or positively. For the couple that‘s not ready for these things, it’s negative. For a more advanced mature couple, it’s a positive. It is a stepping stone for a greater relationship or the beginning of a downfall of a once great relationship.

It takes knowing your partner and the kind of bond you share to decide if cohabitation is what is best. Taking this step before you are ready can lead to the ruin of your relationship. It would not mean the relationship was bad, it just means it was not prepared for the step taken.
Cohabitation is not a bad thing, it can just be a difficult concept depending on the parties involved. Marriage is a legal contract binding you with someone “forever”. No one should want to be bound to someone they truly do not know. That’s when more problems tend to arise, so it is best to limit the chance of surprises from your partner and get to know the good and the bad.

Kayla Vaughn
Kayla Vaughn
Kayla Vaughn is a Sophomore from Memphis, Tennessee majoring in Criminal Justice. She will be a contributor for The Campus Chronicle for the 2022-2023 academic year.

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