Dear Sista Girl:
Long time reader, first time writer. I’ll get right to it. I’m a ‘Daddy’s Girl’ and always have been. I love that man, and he definitely loves me. He is my heart. One year ago, during the Spring semester of 2023 (I’m a student here at Alcorn), my mom unexpectedly passed away due to a massive heart attack. I loved her dearly and with her passing it left a huge hole in my heart. After my mom died, I took up the womanly duties of the house such as cooking, washing, etc. whatever it took to maintain the household and keep it running. I began to somewhat cherish my newfound role. Then in the Fall semester of 2024 my father met someone and soon began dating and eventually she became his fiancé. I went home in December to find this new woman in my mother’s home doing all of the things that I was doing for my father. I’m not going to lie to you Sista Girl I was feeling some type of way towards her and my father. To her I was like, “How can you just come into our home and attempt to replace my mother” and to my father I was like “Mom has only been deceased a year and you’ve moved on?” It’s like I developed this type of hate toward both of them that I’ve never felt before and it’s beginning to bother me. As I’ve said before I’m a ‘Daddy’s Girl’ and I’ve never felt this way about him before, but I feel in my heart of hearts that he betrayed me and my mother. Sista Girl what should I do in this situation? I don’t want to hate my Pops, but his level of betrayal cannot be forgiven.
The Body Ain’t Even Cold Yet
Dear The Body Ain’t Even Cold Yet:
Your feelings are valid. Losing your mom was devastating, and seeing your dad move on so soon feels like a betrayal. But grief looks different for everyone—your dad may not be replacing her, just coping in his own way.
You need to talk to him. Let him know, honestly but calmly, how his actions make you feel. As for his fiancée, she isn’t your mother and never will be—but she’s also not your enemy. You don’t have to accept her right away, but try not to let resentment take over.
Give yourself space to heal. Consider talking to a counselor, and most of all, don’t let this break your bond with your dad.
XoXo,
Sista Girl
