Dear Sista Girl:
I had a best friend (I’ll call her Brianna) who was my confidant. I literally told her everything. About six months ago I confided in her that I had an affair with a mutual friend of ours. I think I need to mention that I have been engaged to a wonderful man (I’ll call him Jordan) for two years and we plan on getting married as soon as we finish our graduate studies. A few weeks ago Brianna and I had a huge falling out to the point where we fought one another. After the fight she told me that to enact revenge upon me that she would divulge to Jordan that I had cheated on him. I have been walking on eggshells around him since she told me that. I have a good man and I don’t want to lose him because of one indiscretion. What should I do in this predicament? Should I speak to Brianna and ask her not to tell Jordan or should I just be up front with him and tell him what I did? I need your help Sista Girl. How should I approach this?
Trapped Between a Rock and a Hard Place
Dear Trapped Between a Rock and a Hard Place:
If you all were truly friends, the two of you would sit down and talk. Tell her that you would like to make amends and move forward but never tell her anything confidential again and distance yourself from her.
Also, have a talk with your fiancé and let him know that you made a mistake. By going to him and telling him what happened, he may be willing to forgive you versus him finding out by someone else. Keeping secrets from your future husband isn’t a great idea as my mom would say, how would you feel if the shoe was on the other foot? Just talk to him and if he truly loves you, he’ll be willing to stay but I’m not saying it’s going to be easy because it’s not. He’s going to feel betrayed, confused, and he’s going to question himself as a man. With the plethora of emotions that he’s going to go through, you’re going to have to give him time to process everything.
Now this is where your patience comes in. Just continue to be there for him and if needed you may want to seek counseling.
Peace and Love,
Sista Girl
