The Truth

As a child I had this desire I could not explain.
The infatuation of another’s touch would soothe my soul.
When we first met I only wanted something physical.
It wasn’t until I truly began to talk with you that
your thoughts on life penetrated my soul.

A bewildering event that I never thought would take place.
As time pressed on our souls began to intertwine without my consent.
I began to love someone who I thought wasn’t for me.

I did whatever it took for us not to be, knowing I was not ready.
The harder I fought the harder I fell.
Biting the bullet I surrendered and let my guard down.
With all of the life changing events we endured,
a turn made me fall too deep when I fell to sleep.

After we got so far where we couldn’t come back, you had lost all hope.
I was left to piece it back together but struggled on where to start until reality hit.

But now I cried it out and let it go.
Something I was fighting to do.
The spark was barely there.
I held on to the past when the future was so dim.
The intimacy was gone, trust failed, communication failed, and only one left in the ring for the knockout.
I ended up losing in the end.
The vision in my head is not my reality.
I fell in love with a past and a possibility along with a person I grew to love flaws and all.

I didn’t want to accept it so I couldn’t move on.
I have me and only me with a trust in God.
I’m stronger than what I’ve portrayed for the past 10 months.
Sometimes you have to lose it to find it.
It was out of character but I found out I could truly love someone whole heartedly and show them the truth.