Dear Kee:
I’m a graduating Senior here at Alcorn and I can’t wait to graduate and get some ‘real world’ experience. I’m thinking about proposing to my girlfriend of three years at graduation but there’s one thing that’s stopping me from doing it, MY MOTHER. For some reason my mom has a major problem with my beloved. She talks bad about her constantly, calls her names and just out right disrespects her. I’ve asked my mom on several occasions why she doesn’t like Denise (I’ll call her that for privacy reasons) and she’s yet to give me a legitimate answer. Granted Denise has never said a bad word about my mother even after everything that she’s done to her. I understand that it’s only been my mom and me for the past 21 years and she thinks that I’m all that she has and I’ll be abandoning her if I get married and move away from home but her behavior is unacceptable. I love both of these women Kee and I don’t want to lose either one of them. How do I go about mediating some type of peace treaty between the two of them?
Signed,
Stuck Between a Rock and a Hard Place
Dear Stuck Between a Rock and a Hard Place:
First off, congratulations on your upcoming graduation. I know it’s been a long four years and you’re finally prepared to get out into the ‘real world’. With that being said, I can’t say that I agree with you on proposing to your girlfriend on graduation. This is a day that needs to be focused on you and your degree. Don’t add an extra gesture to the occasion by proposing. It’s just as we young people say “doing too much.” I’d say wait a little bit longer on the proposal. Wait until you have a steady job and you’re completely comfortable in the world outside of college to ask for her hand. As far as your mother goes, I can honestly say, who cares what she thinks? I understand that this is your mother and you don’t want to choose sides but if your mother loves you she would respect your decision. Besides, what kind of man let’s their mother talk about the girl they’re supposedly in love with? Let that marinate for a second. Plus, it’s not your fault that she’s been alone all of those years. She needs a life of her own and should stop trying to live yours. You have your own life to live, so don’t allow your mother to make these decisions for you. If you continuously allow her to do this, then you don’t deserve to be with Denise. Stop letting your mother get in your head about the situation. Stand up for your relationship and let her know that if she doesn’t straighten up, she can’t come to your wedding (whenever that happens). I guarantee you she’ll come around, but if not, so be it. Not trying to sound harsh, but I’m very eager to let young people know they need to make their own decisions. Good luck.