Spillin’ the Tea with Kee: The Advice Column (February 8, 2019)


Dear Kee:

I am a Sophomore at a SWAC (Southwestern Athletic Conference) institution and I’m writing you because I desperately need your help. I found out a few weeks ago that I’m presently with child. The child’s father and I have a tumultuous relationship to say the least not to mention at times he’s verbally abusive. He’s not financially stable nor is he in college but for some odd reason I still love and care for him. My parents are the other part of my dilemma. Both are professional people with my father being a minister and my mother being a teacher in my hometown. Both are pillars of the community and I know my current situation would crush them emotionally. I haven’t even told them yet nor have I told my on again off again boyfriend. How do I break the news to the three of them so that they will be calm and empathetic to my plight? I want my child to be raised around a loving family and a peaceful environment.

At My Wits End

Dear At My Wits End:

Honestly, your situation is the hardest one I’ve ever seen, but I will try to assist you in the best way that I can. I’m just going to be real with you and say, you knew what you were getting into when you first developed a relationship with your boyfriend. If he is abusive in the relationship, why stay and continue to let someone treat you like you’re nothing? Of course, you obviously didn’t mean to get pregnant, but the baby is coming whether you like it or not. The advice I’d give to you is, inform your parents and boyfriend immediately. You’re right, they might be disappointed when you tell them, but you did grown up things so you’ll have to take responsibility for your actions. Your parents love you and they aren’t perfect, but I’m almost positive they’ll provide you with whatever you and your baby need. And as far as your boyfriend goes, if he doesn’t eventually step up and support you, leave him alone. You don’t need to have your baby around a dead beat and certainly you don’t need to be stressed out during your pregnancy. Your top priority is continuing school and preparing for you child. Good luck!