Just Ask Jaz: The Advice Column (September 16, 2019)


Dear Jaz:

I came to college with a group of my high school friends because we’ve all been close since elementary school, so we’re really more like sisters. I have a full course load of classes and I’ve just joined a few clubs, so I’ve been adjusting pretty well to the college life but there’s this one problem. We just got to college and my friends are partying EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. I mean they literally take every opportunity to party that they get. Monday night, they’re in the parking lot. Tuesday, they’re at a house party, they take Wednesday night to recover and they’re back in the club on Thursday night. Oh and let’s not even get into the weekend. I think you get the picture. I’m cool with hanging out and having a good time, but I really need a break. So, when the next function came, I told them I didn’t want to go and they made me feel super lame. They’ve even started calling me “mom”. I want to relax and focus on school, but there is constant pressure for me to keep up with my friends. What should I do?

Hey Sis:

This is a tale as old as time. You all have just been introduced to the college lifestyle and as you can see it’s pretty saturated with the party scene. There is nothing wrong with hanging out, however, once it begins to distract you from your goals you have a serious problem on your hands. You have to learn that it’s okay to say NO. Don’t ever feel bad for making the decision to follow your own mind. The mission in college is to handle business and GRADUATE. So many people fail at this because they simply chose to abort the mission they were on, for a distraction. Now, every now and then, if you want to go out with your friends, the key is to prioritize. If you prioritize, get your work done ahead of time, and study beforehand then a little fun won’t hurt. As long as you put studying first, you should be okay. I always push myself to work hard and try and get ahead on Sunday night so I can be ahead of the game going into the start of the week. That way, if any events or festivities come up, I’m covered. Stay strong and see it through. From Jaz with Love.