If you have problems with self love and appreciation, it’s okay. You are not alone. Lydia Hawthorne is currently a Junior Molecular Biology major at Alcorn State University (ASU) from Chunky, Mississippi which is 30 minutes outside of Meridian, Mississippi. From the outside looking in, she’s just another college student with papers to write and books to read, however, behind the scenes, she is in a constant battle with depression and anxiety.
Hawthorne migrated a lot as a child moving to Pascagoula, Mississippi in 2012 to begin her Freshman year of high school, then moving in 2016 to Indianapolis, Indiana to begin her Freshman year of college. Although she faced many challenges growing up, things took a turn for the worst when she got to Indiana University-Purdue University Indianapolis. “During my Freshman year I was going through a lot. I had a bad suitemate who was really stressing me out. My sleeping and eating schedule was thrown off and I got into a deep place that I had never been before and before I knew it I was in way over my head,” said Hawthorne. The transition from high school to college was very difficult for her, as it is for most students. Due to the extreme stress in her life at the time her depression and anxiety formed.
Going through life with these two disorders is difficult. She stated, “It’s hard to get out of bed and interact with people at times. I always overthink how I should look or dress so people don’t think badly of me.” Living with depression and anxiety can be a never-ending pain because people tend to overanalyze the simplest things but by getting the proper help overcoming these obstacles isn’t impossible. After putting everything into perspective, Hawthorne decided she needed a fresh start and transferred to ASU in the Fall of 2018.
Although life at times may seem difficult, Hawthorne still finds a way to get out and interact with people. She is currently a member of The Gentlemen’s and Queen’s (GQ) Modeling Squad on Alcorn’s campus. She stated, “Modeling has helped with my confidence a little, but only when I’m on the runway. Sometimes my depression and anxiety gets the better of me and I don’t have that same confidence off of the runway. That’s what I’m striving for.”
She hopes that by putting herself out more with modeling, it will inspire other people who deal with depression and anxiety to be themselves more, and to work on their inhibitions. Even though she isn’t where she wants to be with her confidence, she clings to her favorite quote to keep her going which says, “Don’t worry about getting perfect, just get better.”